Memories

Memories are as much a curse as they are a blessing. My memories aren’t just in my mind, they are in every cell and calling them to my consciousness can cause every cell to ache.

How many days have been laced up with upset? I remember in my arms and shoulders the tensions of the past. Will I ever relax?

Memory can take me deep inside to a place of reflection. With all the experience that I am, I change memory into something else. Sometimes I wonder if I remember correctly, but my body knows. It remembers.

For more than a year, upset has taken center stage. How can it be that so much was lost? I wasn’t prepared even though I wanted to be.

My devotional today sorted this for me, reminding my cells that ALL things are of the Father. Will I only accept the good and blindly turn away what’s difficult? How will I know the heights of joy without the depths of sorrow to compare?

Sorrow wells up in waves that overtake my breathing; I feel stifled, but then I am reminded of bliss – the sounds of my children’s voices both today and from the distant past – how can there be sorrow when I have the three of them and all their memories to cherish?

I quiet my tears with peaceful breath and I am calmed.

ALL things are a blessing and a curse, for without the contrast of opposites, experience would be dulled by that which has no contours and thus cannot be compared or sorted.

Memory is yet another way of knowing our past, our present and our dreams simultaneously at once, flowing through time to make up this life.

Lost for a moment in grief, I return to my home inside. It’s been turned upside down these past months, but each day when I return, I attempt to put things into their new places, into their new perspectives. The act itself is healing and as I heal the curse of memory fades and I smile as I remember.

The Longest Night Has Passed

We've endured the darkness
but the longest night has passed
light has returned and we turn
towards it, accepting its
warmth and radiance

With each day, the light grows
and we can accept its gift
and open ourselves to
new beginnings with
hope and wonder

And as the light fills us
we reflect its beaming glow
of life back into the world
for all to know the deepest
joy and peace

Living in the light
the world shines
with all the dreams
we've dreamed......
you and me

Just Enough of Everything

The unexpected brings what's new and

smiles, words and energy prevail

and you bask in the moment, 

with wonder and joy at it having

just enough of everything

Surprise, surprise

who knew the next corner

would be the one to reveal

and with it came the needed eyes to see

just enough of everything

This thing.. this moment so sweet

captured in the reflection of beauty

so attentive and awkward and

brimming with many delights that are

just enough of everything

Dancing in the light with music

swirling in the air, life takes

my breath away as the sun warms 

my face and my day is filled with

just enough of everything

For the Moment

Hold me in your arms and

look into my eyes

don't look for forever, just

for the moment

Peel the onion before you

layer by layer

the reveal slowly unfolds

for the moment

I have to say.......

I don't know what to say

I'm speechless

for the moment

Words pour out and 

beauty reflects from my eyes

and I am captured

for the moment

"Flower" by R Shaffer

Dancing With Desire

My heart brims with desire

With the luxury of time, 

I bathe my mind in 

warm and bubbly 

thoughts of pleasure

Time pauses and I soak in rapturous delight

Floating from thought to thought

with each permeating 

heart, body and soul

I am quenched

Intimate love is life's gift to each of us

Even without a partner

I will dance in this playground

if only in my mind

with all that I am

Choices

Life is about choices and about learning the only control we have is over our own.

The choices of others can destroy us if we allow.

But another choice can be made.

A choice of renewal.

A choice of embracing the unknown with loving arms and depths of hope and without fear.

Never alone, I choose to live, I choose to laugh, I choose to love.

A Love Poem For Me

Love For You

Beautiful and lovely, Kristin
How I marvel at the day the thought of you came

With such care did I create you
Full of compassion, wit and intellect

Fragile and tender-hearted

I know the suffering you endure

But I am always here

Nothing will ever keep me from you

Never will a moment pass where I am not filled with love for you

Time cannot measure the length of my love for you
The ocean depths are shallow compared to the depth of my love for you

Always will I love you - just as you are
Always will I be filled with love for you

You are perfect in my eyes
You are malleable in my hands

You are my child
You are my love

Now and Forever

My Joyous Heart Sings

Since becoming choir director at my church in late March, my heart has been expanding and expanding and expanding with joy until today it was finally so full of joy, it burst and in the droplets of joy that showered over me, I found this poem.  -K


My joyous heart sings

            "Sing out, oh my soul"

When I sing unto the Lord

       my world is perfect and whole

My heart was once empty

       for meaning it did long

And then You surprised me 

        and gifted my heart a song

This song You have given

         has been there all along

And now that I've found it

       the tune grows ever strong

The song in my heart
               is not just for me
It is for all who seek Him
             it is God's melody

May the music in my heart never end

          may it play forever more

May it bring glory to the one

       that my heart adores

I sing for You, Lord

I sing for me

I sing for the joy of others

I sing for all eternity

Threads

Threads

Life is like an intricately woven fabric

made up of many different threads.

Some threads are prominent only in some areas

having distinct starting and stopping points.

Other threads dot the fabric throughout.

While others still form the very foundation

of the cloth itself being constant for as long

as the threads have length to give.

The threads no matter how used serve only

one purpose: to make up the whole.

Only the Master Weaver knows the final

design of the cloth and only in His hands 

will the threads find their place.

As each day passes it is my joy to admire

the work of the Master who so cleverly weaves

the threads of my life together.

Answer Well

Answer Well

I weep for what was

Yearning for comfort I reminisce

and remember

If allowed, 

I could stay here a very long time

But the past holds not my potential

only lessons that

when practiced

prepare me more

For the joys ahead and 

the sorrows yet to come

How will I live my life yet lived?

The future is determined in

the smallness of each moment's choice

What shall I carry?

What shall I leave behind?

What shall I cherish?

What shall I protect?

In each moment

With each choice

We answer the questions

of life

Answer carefully.

Answer lovingly.

Answer well.

Forever In Your Eyes

Forever In Your Eyes

How beautiful I feel when

you caress and hold me close

How wonderful it is to be

the one you love the most

How is it that you found me

so lost and all alone?

How is it that you left behind

the place you called your home?

How will I ever thank you

for loving me so much

There's nothing I desire more

but to simply feel your touch

I know our love's forever

the world can keep its lies

Because I can see forever

when I look into your eyes

My Dreams

My Dreams

When I go to sleep

My dreams are filled

with you

Your sweetness swirls

throughout my mind

I can see your eyes

I can hear your voice

I can almost feel your touch

You are with me

in my dreams

But then I wake and

find you are gone

And all I want

is to sleep again

To be near you

To love you

If only in my dreams

Laugh

I love this poem.  It reminds me that no matter how bad things get in your life, laughter is the very best medicine.

Written October 2009 at Cathy Warner's Holy Ink Writing Workshop

 

LAUGH...

often

boldly

outloud

in public

in private

in the car

in the house

at dinner

before breakfast

after your shower

in your sleep

when you least expect it

through your life

Just Laugh

No Greater Love

Written today, January 3, 2010


No Greater Love

Bring me your broken heart
Your broken bones
Your broken life

Lay your bloodied wounds
Upon my presence

Bring your cares to me
The one who cares for you

Let your damaged soul
Be washed

For there is no greater love
In the universe

No greater love in eternity

No greater love than mine for you

Where I'm From

Written in May 2007 after attending my first Holy Ink Writing Workshop

Where I’m From

I am from spirit and light
  And dust and breath
Sewn with threads of time
  To become flesh

I am from heart and soul
  And thoughts and dreams
Fed with rivers of emotion
  To become life

I am from the past and the future
  The beginning and the end
Filtered through the eyes of the soul
  To become the present

I am from husband and wife
  And daughter and sons
Grown with laughter and tears
  To become family

I am from smiles and joy
  And sorrows and grief
Woven with virtue and choices
  To become memory

I am from notes and keys
  And voices and song
Matured with practice and patience
  To become music

I am from intimacy and desire,
  Needs and insecurities
Sifted with instinct and love
  To become woman

I am from sunshine and sand,
  Palm trees and blue water
Torn apart by mountains and heartbreak
  To become home

I am from knowledge and books
  And classes and lectures
Molded with experience and time
  To become wisdom

I am from heaven and hell
  And from Eden and the cross
Sacrificed with blood and thorns
  To become salvation

I am from verses and scripture
  And Psalms and the Word
Folded with worship and prayer
  To become peace

I am from all that there is
  And all that will be
Carried in the hands of God
  To become eternity

I Am Like the Sea

Written April 29, 2009

I Am Like the Sea

I am like the Sea
With unknowable depths
And gentle shallows
I am blue with the knowledge
Of the world's suffering


At times I am smooth and silky
Gently guiding you on your way
But the harsh winds
Of my storms can toss you
From shore to shore


I am like the Sea
Forever calling to you
Come wander through my depths
Partake of my unending abundance
Love me as I love you